Outline

There are oppositional and defiant children.

• Long-term impact of out of control behavior and an upside-down hierarchy
• Why family trauma so often the cause but unseen and untreated
• “Teen terrorism” and how it defeats both parents and counselors
• “Rules without relationships” lead to an out of control child
• Video case example: Interactional Trauma: A single parent mom and child who are both out of control

The importance of including the parent in treatment.

• Motivate your toughest parents so they will show up and cooperate
• A 7-question script to start and end treatment
• Move quickly beyond the roadblock of “just fix my kid”
• The “stick and move” technique and “closing arguments” to set the terms of treatment
• How to use the Motivational Phone Call to engage the extended family
• Case example: Listen to an actual motivational phone call

Assessment and diagnosis can be done quickly and accurately.

• Scale from 0% (no stress) to 100% (total stress) to quickly get to the child’s problem(s)
• Four toxic seeds and undercurrents that maintain the child’s extreme behavior or symptoms
• Assess for the child’s safety stressors
  • Self-harm, suicide, bullying, aggression, drug use, etc.
• Rules for when to stabilize the child’s extreme behaviors and when to start active trauma treatment
• Set goals of therapy with defiant kids that actually work
• Video case example: “Knowing where to tap” to locate the root causes of the child’s out of control behavior

Clear rules, boundaries, and emotional warm-ups can be created.

• Is clear, written, and pre-determined to set up both child and family for success, not failure
• Heals the stronghold of shame, blame, performance and approval
• Locates the child’s love language
• Neutralizes the child’s “five aces” of running away, truancy, safety issues, aggression and disrespect
• Video case examples: “Extreme kids and Written Playbooks that Work”

Parents need to practice delivery and think two steps ahead.

• Why defiant kids are master button pushers and using button busters to stop it
• Why dress rehearsals to practice delivery and troubleshooting to think two steps ahead is so needed
• How to set-up and execute the best dress rehearsals and troubleshooting of your life
• Video case example: Watching a great dress rehearsal unfold and seeing immediate change in the child

Permanent changes in the defiant child and family can be achieved through lapse prevention.

• Mini-scales technique: The child and family taking credit for the changes
• Map out next steps of treatment and beyond
• Identify red flags to prevent potential relapse
• Video case example: See the mini-scales and decision tree techniques in action

Client feedback can be used to improve outcomes.

• 5 key questions to ask at the end of each session to instantly get better outcomes in real time
• How real-time client feedback will improve outcomes
• How to elicit honest responses from clients and families
• Delivery vs. content: It’s not what you say but how you say it
• Video case example: “We finally feel a part of the treatment”

There are limitations of the research.