How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

There is a little test for you.

• Are you up to scratch?
• Do you look as good as the next guy (or girl)?
• How much do you earn in comparison to others?
• Do you wear the right clothes?
• Is X (notice who you think of!) more interesting than you?
• Are they smarter than you?
• Do you worry about saying the wrong thing?
• Do you fit in?

Did you notice how you felt?

You are not alone if you often. The Greeks wrote about how people compare themselves to others more than two thousand years ago. We have been looking to other people to get a sense of ourselves.

Leon Festinger, a social scientist, developed a theory that states that there is a natural drive for people to evaluate their own attributes by looking to others. How do you know if you are a good person?

Am I any good or not?

We can see ourselves in the mirrors of other people. I don’t know if I’m good at high jump if I can jump higher than other people. I don’t know if jumping seven feet is good, bad or indifferent if I don’t come into contact with other jumpers.

Festinger theorizes that people compare themselves. upwardly. It could be to people of greater status. Downwardly. People are less well off than themselves. We tend to think we are. More like that. We consider the people above us. Less like. We consider people below us. Our view of how we compare to others is a factor in our level of self esteem.

Use comparison to help yourself not hurt yourself

Social comparison is not always a bad thing. We are social creatures who have survived down the ages by banding together and looking to see how the other fellow is reacting is a good way to do this. People. never Look to others for clues as to how to go on.

We have a role to play in social comparison. In a quest to find personal identity through group identity, teenage years are a time of almost desperate self comparison to other teenagers.

So being. able Managing your integration in society and your personal development can be done by comparing yourself to others. It is possible to compare yourself to others. Social comparison becomes a thing. It was dominant. Mode of functioning is more likely to harm you than help you.

Not good enough: whose side are you on?

We start to feel like we don’t have what everyone else seems to have when chronic commparing leaves us feeling like we don’t have what everyone else seems to have. This type of comparing ourselves is not scientific or objective. It is biased and emotional. People with low self esteem are biased. It was 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 800-244-0167 They themselves. This can be made worse. type We will come on to that in a moment. It’s not just how biased we are when we compare ourselves to others. How often? It can be detrimental if we engage in it.

A one way ticket to misery

It’s not surprising that some people compare themselves relatively little to others and some people compare themselves almost continuously. Constantly comparing is a one way ticket to misery. Why? If you are looking for something, you will find it. There is when you look hard. Always. Someone bigger, stronger, richer, more beautiful/handsome, cleverer, happier than you think is out there.

How do you compare yourself?

When you compare yourself to others, what should you measure? People try to compare things that are not quantifiable. It is said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What that means is that it is the person who is. Looking at something. The person who is being is not the one who decides that someone is beautiful. Looked that way. At. A person’s true charm to others may be hidden. We can make comparisons about height and weight, but not about how funny someone is or how cool they are. Many chronic self comparers mistake the quantifiable with the unquantifiable.

Making comparisons: going off the scale

When people compared themselves to others, they usually consisted of people within their own circle, their own lived experience. It wouldn’t have occurred to anyone to compare themselves to someone else.

Modern mass media and the rise of the celebrity culture means that we are constantly bombarded with stories and images of people who seem to have it all. We can compare ourselves to other people. The social elite of the world compare themselves to us. Chronic self comparers go further than that.

People who feel inferior to others because of the way they compare themselves don’t limit their comparisons to people who are rich or famous. Everyone. . They are. Over. Estimate the attributes of others. Under. estimating their own talents, looks, likability, you name it. I call it a negative inner phantom because people who have compared their confidence and self esteem out of themselves in relation to others tend to carry it.

The inner phantom

It is common to compare yourself to an idealized version of what you should be. A blend of what is what this phantom image is. You feel that society expects you. And what? You think you should have achieved something. . If you hold a vision of a better self in your mind, it will encourage you to behave in ways that will improve you. If my inner perfect me is honest, hard-working and decent, then it could lead me somewhere useful. The wordreasonably is in that sentence.

Something else is what an inner phantom is. It is more like an inner tyrant. A bully will demand absolute perfection. You will fall short when you compare yourself to a phantom. How can you tell if your inner phantom is a positive inspiration or a bully?

How disappointed are you?

One way to check out the real nature of your phantom is to think about where you are in life.

I hear people say things like, I thought I’d be married by now, with children! or, At my time of life, I ought to be settled in a proper career! People set themselves deadlines for what they think. Should be. At what point in life have they attained? Birthdays can seem so significant because of this. Where do the notions come from?

From society and from how we imagine adulthood when we are children. If you were expected to be a parent or a movie star when you were a child, these expectations can linger at the back of your mind for decades, causing a vague but pervasive sense of disappointment or personal failing. They might not have been. conscious Expectations.

My life as Batman, your life as …

When I was a kid, I thought my life would be like a Batman and Robin episode and a James Bond movie. It has not turned out like that. Almost. Don’t wear the Bat costume. That’s the sense that I have. ought. I had to deal with being a hero so that I could enjoy my life.

Think back to what you were before you felt a vague sense of disappointment. It used to be expected and assumed. That would be your life.

It is clear that we need to be able to adapt to what actually happens. Being able to do this well is what real confidence comes from. It is much harder to adapt to old expectations if we are unconsciously clinging to them. Some of the expectations may need to be updated. It is not that we are. Shouldn’t. Sometimes we need to re-examine our expectations.

A life which always turned out as expected would be dull. No surprises!

If you haven’t fulfilled a hypothetical expectation or other, you can look into whether your inner phantom is giving you a hard time. Maybe it is giving you grief. Have you? Your efforts reached a goal. Not perfect, not up to scratch. . These are signs that a tyrant is controlling you.

Getting away from it all

You can’t help but notice how exhausting and draining all this constant comparison is. Imagine what it would be like to be free for a week. A whole week. Not. Not even your inner phantom can compare yourself to anyone. Allowing other people to compare themselves to you, but not caring about it.

It’s at least part of your path towards greater confidence in yourself. It may be possible to make a better society by comparing yourself less to others.

Leading not following

I think society is in danger of turning itself into a bunch of carbon copy people. If you like them, you can clone them.

Teenagers talk the same as each other, even when they live on different continents, because of the impact of global media. People all over the world use the same phrases and expressions. The real creativity, forward momentum, new ideas and fresh perspectives can only come from people who really dare to be themselves.

If you want to be different, start thinking about fitting in a lot less than the rest of us do. It’s like looking for your lost key if you try to be like others. There is a inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside inside You lost your house. Outside. There is more light to see inside.

You become free to find when you stop worrying about whether or not you match up with others. It’s real. Satisfying in your life. A decline in the number of people who are original may be one of the drawbacks of improved communication. There is a rare blend of the philosopher and politician. That so few now dare to be eccentric, marks the chief danger of our time, said John Stuart Mill back in 1869.

If you want to be the person you were meant to be, here are some things you can do.